Present day:

As I write this on my phone I think about my 1st born’s father Donta, and what he went through living in shelters, in and out of jail, on the street, and times he was missing.  The different systems that failed him since birth, and the circumstances surrounding his premature death next to the Aloha Inn where he was staying.  When did his mind really start to crumble under the weight of repeated disappointment, betrayal, lack, and loneliness.  I wonder about  his diagnosis and to what degree his environment played a part in it’s progression. Then I think about my efforts to try and help him and how I wasn’t able to, in relation to what I’m experiencing now and it’s so overwhelming, it feels so hopeless being not believed and how many more people are in the same perdicament. So again, I dedicate this piece in memory of you Donta Curtis Richard, and every person that has dealt with a mental health crisis without the help they deserve, those that have been mis-diagnose, used, abused, and taken advantage of interpersonally and on a systemic level, this is for y’all, this is for us!

Pt.1 Recap

“Get the fuck out of here” she repeated over and over again as she pressed her full weight against my chest, the pain in my ribs under the pressure was secondary to the fear I had of being pushed over the stair rail, and with each push I could feel the thin metal bars bending to and fro knowing that with just the right amount of weight they could give way, or with just the amount from her upper body unto mine, I would topple over the rail to the concrete at least 10 ft below me.  I quieted the voice inside me that wanted to fight back, that wanted to push her back, knowing I was no match against her body weight, I had nothing sturdy enough to hold me, against her body weight.  As calm and gentle as I could I said “just give me my phone back please,” as I saw the other’s throwing my stuff down the stairs, calling me all sorts of names I tried to look for my phone in one of their hands to call for help but help would not come that day….

In Circles

After putting what I could grab back into the suitcases they had went through, and thrown down the stairs, I lined them up downstairs against the outside of Sober Living America (SLA), (Fort Worth) rental apartment.  It was out the way and the only people who would see it was there were guests of Sober Living America, and they had already went through my stuff and put me out why would they want to mess with it. Police had been called and they took their side stating I had put the marks and bruises on myself, and thrown all my stuff down the stairs.  Besides my finger, ribs, and shoulder were aching from being pushed out the door by guests, trying to hold on to my phone and backpack as they grabbed it, and almost being pushed over the banister by the live in site manager. I  was exhausted and when I tried to ask the officer for a ride to the station to file my report since I was trespassed from the property I was told they weren’t “a taxi service,” but they would send their account “within an hour.” So limping, crying, and bewildered I walked the mile or so to the police station on Lancaster.

Once there I tried the door and it was locked. Realizing it didn’t open for another 45 minutes I sat down outside and called the non-emergency number and requested for officers to come and take my report.  About 30 minutes later a Black woman with kind eyes and a stern presence opened the door and let me in.  I asked her about filing a report and she explained that this station “did not house patrol officers only detectives but I had to go through the patrol officer and get a police report before I could speak with a detective.”  She looked in the system and the responding officers had “not put in a report yet.”  I explained to her what I was able to without becoming too emotional about my situation, and my experience with the officers, and my most recent call to them to take my report.  She explained that it could “take awhile,” so I asked could I use the bathroom.  I cried in the bathroom from the emotional and physical weight of it all, and double checked to makr sure I had all my stuff to swim with because I needed the water more than ever.  I tried to call Sober Living America (I had been reaching out to corporate before this happened but had only gotten through to speak with someone that morning).  The lady who said only the owner was above her answered and after I stated the most recent incident she mirrored what Scott (the manager over the live- in manager) basically said that they could see that I had “issues with Oxford House” so I needed to take a look at myself.” 

She went on to say that I needed to send her my proof because “I could get someone fired, lose their job, and be homeless.”  I stated that I couldn’t start McDonald’s like I was supposed to (the job I was accused and yelled at by both the site manager and her manager for not having) and I was homeless and tried to prevent this.  In the end she stated their was nothing she could do, the owner was cc’d on the emails and basically it was stated “I shouldn’t have filmed” them ganging up on me.  After going back and forth I realized my voice was getting loud and I was going in circles so I ended the call and tried again to send the video and audio of my abuse by guests there and Scott yelling at me for not having the job at McDonald’s after I complained about my roommate putting a bug or something on me and then being yelled at.  Trying to regain my composure I splashed water on my face and went back into the lobby and asked the receptionist to check and see if the officers turned in their report, which they hadn’t.  After about 2-3 hours the new officers showed up and after I attempted to go into detail about what happened and tried to show them the videos they stopped me saying they couldn’t help me until the original officers put the report in the system.  At first I was told they would “do it within an hour” because they had to do it before going on to the next call, then I was told “by the end of the shift,” and the next day “within 24 hours”  (close to 4 days later they still had not filed it and it had not been assigned a detective. It would take about 2-3 weeks before it was assigned a detective).  Devastated I sat down realizing It had just happened to me again and there was nothing I could do about it.  I asked if I could sit for a few moments, I was injured and I needed to get the strength to go.  The officer looked st the Black lady sitting behind the desk and asked her if she wanted me to leave and she said “no, not right away.” Glancing at her I gave her a look of thanks while I sat down and debated going to the hospital with no insurance again.

I decided to go to the gym so I could get in the water because my body ached all over.  Walking to the bus stop on Lancaster felt surreal.  How was I back on the street again, I asked God why, why was I going through this.  Part of me wanted to hide behind a car or something.  I felt so exposed so vulnerable.  The bus couldn’t have cane soon enough.  The bus driver hurriedly waived me on as I’m sure I fit right in with the numerous houseless population in the area.  Taking my seat as quickly as I could holding my workout bag close to me I looked around and saw people just like me.  I mean I would be just like them if I stayed out here to long. I would definitely be on drugs (again), someone would take advantage of me (again), I would lose all hope (again) of getting out, if I stayed around too long, that is.  Getting off at the transit center I waited for my next bus, that would take me to the last bus then to LA Fitness.  Everything is bigger in Texas except for transportation.  What would take you 15 minutes in a car will take you 2 and a half hours on the bus if your lucky.  The rest of the bus ride was spent dissasociating and bracing myself everytime the bus hit any kind of bump, or took a corner too fast, a sharp pain went through my ribs and my shoulder.  I had to be careful to not use my right hand because my middle finger was the size of my thumb.  I was a mess on the out and inside.  Finally making it to the gym I prepared myself for them to ask me for my payment that I had been promising them for awhile.  Surprisingly the young girl at the front desk was too busy addressing someone else she just let me go.  It was that or the tears streaming down my face that did it.  In the locker room I cried even harder as I carefully took off my clothes I saw bruises but nothing hurt worse than knowing I was houseless for a 2nd time after being mistreated.  Then the negative self talk came, then I talked to God:  It had to be my fault right?  What did I do, where did I go wrong, God help me make it right, please, if you love me please…

A lady passing by came over and gave me a hug.  I started to pull away but I just let her, I let a stranger hug me and tell me it will be alright.  She must if overheard me and suggested I try the Union Gospel Mission.  I thanked her and said I would try.  I made my way to the water where I just floated.  I didn’t exercise I just floated and cried, and prayed for hours.  After leaving the gym I got on the bus towards the closest hospital.  I wanted to go get the rest of my stuff but I could barely hold my bag so I went to a Methodist hospital where they seen me pretty fast, took my vitals, did scans and told me nothing was broken.  They gave me a sling for my arm to ease the pressure on my shoulder, a splint for my finger, and Toradol prescription sent to the CVS around the corner.  I explained to them that I had no where to go and since they didn’t have social workers at night I couldn’t get support with finding housing.  I remembered I had wrote down some shelters after the incident at Oxford and I begin to call.  The only place available was PNS so a cab took me there and I quickly remembered my experience there a year ago however this time I didn’t have to go to the back due to the time and me not being able to get on a top bunk I was allowed a bunk bed right by the door off to the left where you go through the heavily worn medical detectors.  Exhausted I pushed my bags under the bunk and pulled my hoodie over my head and laid down in a fetal position until I heard movement.  I don’t think I slept.  I was just happy it was daylight out and so I walked to UGM where they checked you in for the overnight shelter.  Boy had things changed in a year, but the Welcome Center is where I was told to come when I had called yesterday on the way to the hospital.  Signing in I saw a case manager who told me I had to be in the overnight program first before I could get into their program.  I let him know I had 2 jobs one at a temp and one with McDonald’s I just needed a place to put my stuff, I couldn’t take my stuff with me everyday and I still needed to go back and get it from SLA.  He stated he would talk to someone on my behalf and to come back closer to 1:30 if I wanted to get in overnight.

Back on the bus to go get my suitcases I felt a little sense if relief.  I thanked God thst things hadn’t been worse than they were and tried to get as much energy as I could to push 2 suitcases while carrying my stuff.  Once I made it to the apartment complex I immediately noticed my stuff had been ran through.  It had to be the roommates from SLA they were the only people that came here and I told the police and the site manager that I was leaving it there.  How I could have been so stupid.  They took my babies blanket I had fir 30 years, all my pants except one pair and the good shirts I had left, and my backpack and my laptop along with all my journals and some photos.  I think they had took them prior I just couldn’t tell.  I don’t know, it didn’t matter.  Maybe I wasn’t supposed to write anymore.  I changed right there in the hallway to my other pair of pants and a different shirt and begin to push one suitcase at a time out the complex, past the construction, to the bus stop.  The bus came and I struggled to get everything on the bus however a guy came and helped.  Once I hit back to UGM it was closer to 2 but the guy walked me over to the shelter helping me with a suitcase and it was all very familiar once we got in the building he immediately left me with a older white lady with red hair who begin to give strict commands resembling what I would call directives from a lieutenant in an army to a cadet, “don’t put your stuff there, hurry up, I’m gonna get in trouble if you leave your suitcase there  what’s wrong with you?” I tried to explain that I needed some time that I was injured” as another worker looked at me and at the lady giving orders and got on the elevator. “Don’t talk back or your going right back to PNC!” I was paralyzed with fear.  I remember this from last year, I thought to myself as tears begin to stream down my face, how did she know I was at PNC I thought. But the lady snapped me right out of my intrusive thought back to reality.  “Don’t you cry she said that doesn’t work on me.”

At that point I just let the tears flow and said nothing.  Her voice eventually softened as she complained that someone was always ringing the buzzer and she didn’t have time for late comers.  Grabbing my hygene and my purse I got on the elevator and went to the floor for overnighters.  Once on the 2nd floor I went to the front desk and saw the lady who had witnessed whatever it was that had just happened downstsirs.  I was directed to a bottom bunk in between 2 people yet there were multiple open bunks (at least 4 or 5) to the left of me.  I noticed the lady to my left begin to hang up a blanket and I thought what if someone starts spraying perfume so I went and asked if I could move down 3 beds closer towards the front due to my environmental sensitivity.  I was told “yes,” so I moved my stuff, re-made my bed, and got in the shower when it was my turn.  Eventually we went to chapel where a volunteer shared the Gospel lesson of the day.  I don’t remember if I felt the spirit or not and I wasn’t Journaling.  I think I cried though, pretty sure I did.  After dinner we eventually made it back to our floor and I laid down and fell asleep due to exhaustion I’m sure.  4 in the morning came fast and I brushed my teeth while remembering the last time I had to be outside in the morning.  It felt like being in the lions den.  I noticed this lady walking around praying in cowboy boots with her own set of scrubs on, not the ones they have the overnighters change to.  Downstairs there was a dufferent lady gathering everyone’s luggage but I remembered her too.  She too had a very strict presence kind of like prison guards if I had to describe her demeanor.  Once everyone had there luggage we were all ushered through the courtyard into the main lobby where we waited to go into the cafeteria for breakfast.  I tried to make sure all my stuff was separate from everyone else’s so noone could take what I had left.  I had the Bible my momma gave me and her ashes I was recently given left.  I had my study Bible left, I had some of my shoes.  I was thankful for that.  Breakfast was good, either that or I was hungry.  I asked about seconds and was told they no longer provide that, “only on special occassions.”

As we were ushered outside I sat down in the little entrance as it begin to rain.  Another lady who had been asking about clothing voucher alongside me came and sat next to me when the lady in the cowboy boots came up to me and offered to pray or something.  I don’t remeber exactly but I remember her saying something about “three strands” being unbreakable and that we “should stick together, ” and that she was going to go get her car and “come back and get us.”  I was like thank God as it begin to rain harder we made small talk wondering if she was really going to come back when a small stature security guard came up to us saying we “couldn’t sit there” that we had to move somewhere else because “it wasn’t raining too hard.”  Looking at eachother we pleaded to stay there just a little bit longer while we waited for our ride.  He allowed us and we continued to wait when a small SUV pulled up.  Wow she came back we said to eachother.  I grabbed my stuff and put it in the back and suggested the other lady get in the front seat.  She was really nice she took the lady sitting in the front seat to try and get her medicine and then we tried to go to the library.  And all the while this lady prayed non stop.  And some of it was in tongues.  I could tell it was starting to bother the lady sitting in the front seat.  And  I just turned on my earphones and listened to my own church or songs when it became too much.   Eventually it was time to go back to UGM and I suggested she ask to park in their parking lot so that noone would take our stuff since it had been decided that we would stick together.  Once in line I advocated at the frint desk for her to be able to get a parking pass and low and behold here comes the head security guard saying that she had a license from “another state and if she were to get pulled over she would get a ticket because she had been in Texas longer than 90 days, but he would see about still giving her a permit to park in the parking lot but for now she could do it over night but only if she came back tomorrow with her insurance and proof of registration.”  I thanked him and gently reminded him that it’s hard to get a Texas license when your houseless. 

Thanks to the lady we’ll call her E I only had to bring my hygiene and purse and so the whole process of getting ready to go upstairs was slightly less stressful.  Well that and the red haired lady wasn’t as mean as she was with just me the day before.  Once upstairs I made my bed and then I was called into a lady’s office where I was asked about “what happened” the day before?  Surprised I was like nothing happened, then the lady got more specific and was like what happened when you came in.  “I was like well the lady was like rude but I don’t want to get her in trouble.”  “How do you know this anyways?”  I asked. “I really just think she has compassion fatigue, I don’t want her to get fired or anything.” “Someone is always watching” the other lady said to me as the lady whose office we were in slid me a paper and told me to write down what happened, stating that the red haired lady “should have known better because she once too had been in my shoes.” I should’ve refused because this is where I made an enemy out of the red haired lady and her friends that worked there.  After writing down my experience and attempting to advocate for it not to go any further than between us I was asked about my goals and what I would do if given the opportunity to get in the program with UGM.  I stated I “already had a job I just needed a place.”  I was told “were gonna give you a chance but if there’s any trouble, your gonna see me.”  I agreed not to cause any trouble and I was in the program.  I was specifically placed in the room I was given and when I say placed I mean the guy was like “make sure to put Bell in room 303.”  That was a red flag as well.  I had 3 roommates and one of them definitely had border line severe mental health issues that caused one of the other roommates to be triggered often.  The other roommate was barely there so she avoided most if it.  This led to the often triggered roommate to get upset at me for using an outlet next to her storage which she claimed was making the other roommate think she could sit her stuff there too.  Apparently she had sat her stuff there that morning (this was common she would put her stuff on your stuff).  I remained calm stating to just ask her to move it but this seemed to upset her more as their more than likely was some history around this so I let it go, to cone back and find out that she had moved and the very next day here came  a new roommate that attempted to befriend me, then turn on me, started calling me names, threw tissue at me, and started spraying a bunch of purfume.  It was a nightmare and I wasnt believed when the person after her dud the same thing.  The young lady with the border-line severe mental health issues that was NOT getting the case management she needed either left or was forced out by the first young girl they moved in who used her pregnancy as a shield to gain sympathy from the red haired lady who had me exited for doing nothing because of her.  This was then used against me when they moved the last lady in (citing that I kept having problems) who too had mental health issues who said someone was watching her through the window so she wanted it closed then she said someone was stealing stuff after the window was closed.  She took the last pair of pants I had bought myself as a guise to say I was stealing her stuff.  She called me names yelled at me and one of the case managers so happened to be by the door when she started having her episode and I was then told I needed to “leave the room and be separated.” Abd told that this wasn’t a good program for me because of the way others were treating me.”  There’s do much more I just don’t have the energy to write it all on the phone.  Below is the email correspondence between me and my case manager who lied on me, never called me, and complained that I sent too many emails even though she didn’t return vital emails:

Email Correspondence to UGM Case Mgr. (4/17/26)

“Greetings,

I have an environmental Sensitivity and I have tried to get support since this morning regarding my room placement after waking up and coughing and not being able to breathe.

My chest still hurts from the impact and I called at least 3 times asking different people for support in addition to asking in person and it seems it was decided that there would not be a room change nor a call to me to let me know.

I’m just confused because I don’t want to end up in the hospital and I don’t know what to do except try to get fresh air but if I go out my room I will get in trouble.

I left a message with a case manager, the manager and someone else however I did not leave one with you because I was told they didnt know who my case manager was.

I don’t know what to do…. Please see attached Dr.s note regarding my condition and reach out to me ASAP.

THERE’S also really loud noises in this room and it’s bad for my Complex PTSD, anxiety, insomnia, and night terrors in addition to going a 2nd day without a pillow (asked multiple people) but I would be happy fir being in a room I’m able to breathe in.

Thank tyyou and God Bless,

Respectfully,”

****

She never responded to this email

****

Email Correspondence to UGM Case Mgmt. (4/21/26)

Please see attached TB test results for your review.

This was emailed to me yesterday 4/20/26.

Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

I also included my Dr.s note regarding my environmental disability.
****

She never responded to that email

****

Email Correspondence to UGM Case Mgmt. 4/22/26

“Greetings Ms. Reed,

I hope you are well?  I started not feeling well right after meeting with you in uour office yesterday.  It could have been the heat or some other environmental issue in my room.  Nonetheless, I’m still pushing forward with God in front, behind, and to my left, and right.

I just got back from work and I was wondering if you could do a emergency request for clothes because I’m going to work at McDonald’s as shift manager solely (THIS Friday), because it pays more etc., and I have to have the closest I can find to black scrubs (top and bottom, until I’ve been there for 60-90 days then they will provide), and black non-slip shoes.

Do you believe you could assist me with looking in the warehouse before Friday?

I also acknowledge that you gave me a form to go to the warehouse this Friday but I have to leave before then and possibly go panhandle on Thursday if y’all don’t have what I need in the warehouse.

God Bless,”

****

UGM Case Mgmt. Response 4/22/26

“Hello Ms. Bell,

The warehouse only happens on Wednesdays and Fridays at 2pm.”

****

Email Response to UGM Case Mgr. 4/22/26

“I understand but I have to be at work at that time and I have to be in uniform.  Could you ask Mark if he is willing to assist me tomorrow?

He suggested I ask you and said to follow up with him after….”

I was told by the female security (light skinned) that I had “been green lighted and that I needed to get my things and leave.”

I begin to cry and ask “why I just needed fresh air.”

The female security said I was being “loud and not following orders,” (paraphrasing).

I then begin to raise my voice and tone slightly as the realization that I would be put out on the street for asking for air begin to sink in.

I’m now crying uncontrollably while being directed/walked to my room to get my things, my chest hurt so bad I felt like I was gonna pass out but all I could think about was being put out. 

The security female then got on the phone/walky talky with the Lieutinant where she begin to tell half truths about what happened.  She also stated that I was being loud and that the lieutenant could “hear me being loud right” now. 

Once I walked into the room you could smell nothing but purfume and cologne, this exasperated my symptoms so I started throwing my stuff in bags (I asked the male security guard “was it strong to him too” and he replied “yes”.

The female security began to say that I didnt have to pack my stuff but I couldn’t breath in the room so I just continued.  Eventually I think I got all my stuff out tge room and then down the hallway.  I just asked fresh air and I was told I could finally get it.

I went outside and sat on the bench and then a front desk staff came and begin trying to ask me what happened.  I was de-escalating myself so I tried to explain but I seen it was making me upset so I asked for “10 minutes to calm down”

I was told by the front desk that she needed to know what happened but she would give me 10 minutes.

2 minutes later, a new security along with the other 2 (that were there previously there prior) came over and asked me “what happened.”

****

UGM Case Mgr. Response 4/22/26

“Ms. Bell,

Ive added Mr. Stevens to the email, if he can assist I’m okay with that, thanks for inquiring.

Please advise that in the future you will have to plan accordingly for the set times for the warehouse.”

****

Response to my UGM Case Mgr. 4/22/26

“Thank you for accommodating my emergency request for work clothes and shoes.

Have a blessed evening,”

****

Email sent to my UGM Case mgr. 4/30/26 6:02am

“Hi, Good morning/afternoon,

I apologize for sending multiple emails; however, I have a new request for a weekly bus pass.

Did you put me on the list to be able to get lunch to go/ and or a sack lunch/dinner when I get home?

And are you able provide me weekly passes until I’m caught up on phone bill, PO box, and have bought me a full uniform?

If so, where can I pick it up?”

****

No Response From Her

****

Email sent to my UGM Case mgr. 4/30/26 7:46pm

“Hey,

My work schedule changed due to me not having a proper uniform so I work today through Saturday, 11-8 (tomorrow), 1-8 (Saturday), and Sunday, but I will find out tomorrow the time.

I’m unable to login and look online because they inputed incorrect information as of right now so I’mpicking up as many shifts as possible.

I thought you said that they “just started” providing 7 day passes?  Never mind, let me know when you find out because I don’t have bus fare through Sunday and I need support hopefully before your gone for the weekend???”

****

Email Response from UGM Case Mgr.

Received , congratulations on your position! I will contact upper management to see how and if a bus pass can be distributed.

****

Email to Case Mgr.s boss as my Case Manager was out (5/1/26)

Hi Mrs. #%$##,

I’m sorry to reach out to you inder these circumstances however I have been picked on by Mrs #%$$^ since I got here and today she tried to have me escorted off the property saying ” I jumped on the pregnant girl” ( #$%$) in my room because her and my other roommate have decided to band together and  think it was ok to disrespect and talk about our other roommate ($%$#%) and when I respectfully showed my dissent it was turned towards me and eventually led up to an escalated situation being brought to Ms. $^%$$ this morning who refused to hear anything from me.

I’m writing up what happened and I have to leave around 10ish but I didn’t jump on thst girl I tried to have a conversation with her and ^%$# inserted herself begin to yell and they both went and told Ms. Tammy have truths.

I’m at work until 8 tonight and I work the rest of this weekend.  Please feel free to call me as I’m waiting in the lobby and I’m told I cant go back to my room.  I’m fine with moving room I just need a bottom bunk because of my injured shoulder and finger.

If you call and I don’t answer please leave a message and I will return your call during my break.

Also can I get a bus ticket for work tomorrow and Sunday?  I know Mrs. $%$# asked but she didn’t know I needed one ASAP.

God bless,

****

Email Response from my case managers boss 5/1/26, 4:10pm

“Hello Ladies,
I hope this message finds you well. I want to take a moment to acknowledge that I have received the written statements that were submitted regarding concerns within your shared room. Although not everyone is currently on campus and your assigned case manager is out of the office, it was important to me to ensure that each of you felt heard and understood.
Please know that your concerns do matter, and I appreciate everyone taking the time to communicate their experiences in a respectful way.
As a reminder, living in a shared space can be challenging, and while it may not always feel ideal, we are all expected to treat one another with dignity and respect. To support a more peaceful livingenvironment, I want to clarify a few shared housing expectations that must be followed by everyone in the room:
The room temperature should remain no lower or higher than 72 degrees.
When listening to music or having phone conversations, headphones are required at all times.
Quiet hours are before 8:00 a.m. If someone needs to be up and moving before that time, it is acceptable only if all roommates are in agreement.
Moving forward, I am asking each person in this room to be intentional about showing respect in both actions and communication. Addressing concerns early, being mindful of one another’s space, and following shared living expectations are all part of maintaining a safe and supportive environment for everyone.
If challenges continue, your assigned case manager will follow up with you once they return so that additional support or next steps can be discussed as needed.
Thank you for your time, cooperation, and willingness to work toward a more respectful shared living space.
Warm regards,”

****

Email Response to my UGM Case Mgr.s boss 5/1/26 4pm

“Hey Mrs. $%%$&,

I received your email and I don’t know how I’m supposed to breathe in 72 degree heat with no air flow and with purfume being sprayed.  I also notice in the main building it’s at 70 degrees but anything I dont want to I’m gonna end up in the hospital as I have an environmental sensitivity (see attached Dr.s note). Nevermind me being accused of things I didn’t do, yelled at and my stuff ending up on the floor since %$#^% has been there resulting in everything coming to a head today with me getting escorted out without even talking to me?

I’m trying my best to get on my feet and how can I do that if I can’t sleep to be able to go to work the next day?

I’m very thankful but this is somewhat unfair to everyone involved as the air was not an issue until today and I was basically forced to sign a grievance again just like I was told to write one about Mrs. $%%$^ when she yelled at me when I first got to UGM

I didn’t report that, I just want to go to work and mind my business but people are going out there way to start stuff with me.

May I ask Have you been in room 303 after the shower has been ran and purfume sprayed at 72 degrees temperature?

Respectfully,”

****

Email from my UGM Case Mgr. 5/2/26 12:47pm

“Ms. Bell,

I understand your concerns and want to acknowledge that you have reported feeling disrespected in your shared living space. You have sent multiple emails regarding mulitple concerns, and I have responded to each accordingly. As previously stated, your roommate concerns have been received and will be addressed in accordance with program protocol. This process requires Case Management and leadership to review concerns, gather information, and intervene as appropriate. Due to confidentiality, we are unable to share details of that process or any actions taken with other participants. Please understand that we are addressing multiple reports, and it takes time to thoroughly investigate each concern. UGM maintains a zero-tolerance policy for violence and aggression of any kind. If evidence is found involving any parties, all individuals involved may be subject to corrective action, including lockout or removal from the program.

Additionally, this is the third time you have raised concerns regarding environmental and breathing issues. Which is why a list of alternative shelters and resources has been provided to you for your consideration if you feel your needs cannot be adequately met within this setting, your concerns with your roommate is  separate matter entierly.

In the meantime, please continue to follow program expectations and report concerns appropriately through your Case Manager. We will continue to support you within the structure of the program.”

****

My email response to my case Mgr. 5/2/26 2pm

“In the meantime I’m a keep getting abused and then yall gonna say you don’t believe me because you didn’t see or hear it.  Can I record them cussing me out and being disrespectful because otherwise it’s gonna get worse and my mental health can not take it????”

****

Email Response from UGM Case Manager 2:57pm

“Ms. Bell,

As stated, your concerns are being addressed and are actively under investigation. There has been no statement that your report is not believed; however, we must follow established protocol when reviewing all concerns.

Please understand that recording other residents is not permitted, as it violates confidentiality and program policy.

If any incidents occur, continue to report them directly to Case Management or Mission Support so they can be documented and addressed appropriately. If you feel unsafe at any time, please notify staff immediately.

We will continue to follow up in accordance with program procedures.”

****

My email response to Case manager at UGM 5/2/26 3:35pm

“Ok,

This means that I will continue to be abused while y’all review paperwork, because it’s my word against there’s.  Thanks for the response.  I won’t be emailing anymore because it doesn’t matter based off of y’all protocol that I’ve experienced thus far.

Respectfully,”

****

This email chain is in response to an email I had sent to my case manager regarding my availability to meet 2-3 days prior that she was able to respond to on 5/3/26 at 12:39pm

“3 pm, you need to review your service plan to ensure you are in compliance with it as we will discuss that in case management tomorrow.”

****

Email Response to my UGM Case Mgr. 5/3/26 3pm

“I have to work at that time but  I  can meet you earlier than that?

I tried to ask you before my schedule was created but you told me to look at my service plan.

Can we meet earlier so that I’m able to keep my employment?”

****

Another Email to my UGM Case Mgr. After no response

“Hi %$#^,

I apologize about the delay in response I’m at work.

I noticed that you stated you “received” my hours for next week at 12:01 today, but then you responded to an email that I sent you from 2 days ago where I had asked for time confirmation (because I lost my service plan due to the ongoing issues with my roommates) in regards to our check-in tomorrow.

In your email response you sent at or around 12:39 today you stated that our meeting is at “3pm tomorrow” and to look at the service plan (that I told you I lost when I originally asked for the time over 3 days ago) to make sure I’m in compliance.

I want to make sure I’m in compliance as well however I have court and work tomorrow as well.

Is there any way we can schedule our check-in before or after court, and before I go to work tomorrow so that I don’t lose my job or miss court?

Respectfully,”

****

Email to UGM Case Mgr. 5/5/26 12:02pm

“Hi Ms. ^&%%,

I’m going to send you the appeal for #%$^%, %^%$#’s friend (the one who almost had me escorted out for Sara the new person lying on me a few days prior) lying and saying I threw a sugar packet at her then walking away and not allowing me to explain, and for her not allowing me to get fresh air and instead calling security and lying and saying I was escalated when I really just could not breath, which security immediately said I was “green lighted and had to leave” which did cause me to become escalated.

This resulted in the security guy getting mad because I did not want to re-escalate myself while I was in the TV room getting ready to go to the hospital (after the security and night shift took turns coming and asking me what happened not allowing me to even calm down or giving me a full “10 minutes to calm down” like I had to beg for in the courtyard) by telling him what happened stating “I run this program so you know it’s gonna come to me anyway” in which I asked for grace and he said “ok” and went and got the police who asked him did he “ask me to leave” to which he responded to “leave for a night” because “I couldn’t tell him what happened” because I was “still triggered.”

Respectfully,”

****

No response on this day

****

Email to my UGM Case Mgr. 5/6/26 9:26am

Hi %$#&%,

“Since I’ve been accussed of things I did not do and as a result I can not attend y’all mother’s day event may I please get permission to go to my church even Friday at The Potter’s House of Dallas at 6 (see below) I may not be able to make it back by 9pm.  May I get a late pass Friday (I already have a late pass for that day for work, just wanted to keep you in the know).

Also I picked up a shift Saturday may I get a late pass for that day?

Also may I get another bus pass for next week since you will be out of the office next week please?

Respectfully,”

****

My UGM Case manager response 5/6/26 1:23pm

“Hello Ms. Bell,

As discussed in your initial session weekend passes are not eligible for those until they have been in the program for 30 days. Any documentation you sent for work has already been submitted for passes, be sure to submit the verification for Saturday a prior to 4pm today and I can put that into the system as well.

Additionally , upper management only offers 7 day passes for the first week of work.”

****

My email response to UGM Case Mgr. 5/6/26

They don’t give you a new schedule.  It was a verbal request to which my assistant manager said yes.

I won’t  be working Friday but I will be working Saturday so that I may go to Hey You at my church.

May I get an emergency wash please?”

****

Me email response to my case Mgr. After she sent a different email about a housing opportunity 5/6/26

“I’m interested may I also get an emergency wash and what are the next steps”

****

UGM Case Mgr. Response 5/6/26

“Why are you needing an emergency wash?

You will need to get this document filled out by a medical professional ASAP.

Also ensure you meet the other criteria. “

****

My response to my UGM Case Mgr.

“Because I worked Mondays which is the day we wash for our room and I didnt get home in time for 2 weeks now. And eberytime I ask I get told no.

Will you grant me one please for tomorrow?”

****

Case Mgr response 5/6/26

“SURE THING”

****

My response to UGM Case Mgr. 5/6/26

“Who will you let know so that I’m able to follow up with them tomorrow am or what is the next steps?”

****

My UGM response to my email

“Just check in at the front desk and they will let you know were you can complete the wash.”

****

My email response to my UGM Case Mgr. 5/9/26

Hi &^%&,

None of the staff have a email from you at anytime regarding my emergency wash and I have to work this morning and I haven’t been able to wash my clothes for 2 weeks.

Who can I contact to be able to wash because &%$# seen my email that says I’m allowed to wash from 3 days ago, however she said that she needs to have an email from you even though she can see you approved it?

Respectfully,”

****

Email Request Regarding Urgent Request For Mediation 5/10/26

“Greetings,

I’m reaching out because it was brought to my attention that my new roommate had a problem with our compramise regarding the window.

She would like the window to be closed at all times because her disability has her feeling like “people are watching her through the window.”

She also went through my things and then accused me of “touching her stuff” and when I was unsure of what all she took she accused me of “lying.” about it.

If y’all could please have a sit down with us both so that we can come to true compromise about the room because she gets hostile every time I try to.  She even rushed me out the bathroom for her going to church and when I suggested we discuss our schedule to avoid this in the future she waved me off.

I would love to mot feel like I’m walking on egg shells again and am requesting support to help mediate this new situation that is surprisingly similar to the last one.

Happy Mothers Day”

****

Email to Case Mgr. Appeal of first big incident 5/12/26

“Greetings,

I was in my bed sleep it was approximately 12am in the morning when I woke up with my chest on fire, a headache, and the left side of my lungs felt like they had a stack of books on them, my face was numb and my nerves were jumping all over my body.

I immediately smelled a mix of cologne and purfume and Nikki was still in the shower (she was in the shower when I went to sleep around 10pm).  It was really steamy and you could see the steam in the room.

I immediately got up put my shoes and went down stairs to ask for fresh air.  No one was at the front desk so I sat down by the door.

Tina eventually came in and asked me “what was I doing downstairs?”  As calm as I could I begged “to go get fresh air due to my environmental sensitivity.”

I asked again citing what had happened upstairs (see above) that “caused me to have a reaction.”

I was told no a second time and she stated she “had no idea of my environmental sensitivity,” and told me “to come upstairs with her.”

I did what she said and followed her upstairs on the elevator and was told to “go sit in there” (the t.v room).

I did as was told and soon after she walked away I heard her radio for security.  She then begins knocking on what I assume was our room door (I could not see I could only here). 

As she was knocking I could hear her talking through the walky talking saying someone was being loud and not listening (I’m paraphrasing).

I assumed she was talking about Nikki and Sarah as I was calm and followed her orders (outside of asking twice to go outside and get fresh air, per my disability that she denied because she didnt know anything about it).

Tina was knocking on the door (they wouldn’t let her in) up until security got out the elevator.  I seen them rush past me down the hall to where Tina was.

They exchanged some words than I could hear footsteps coming my way.

The female security was the main one speaking and the man basically listened.

Since they had came from the same direction I assumed that they knew thst I needed some time to catch my breath and get fresh air, however, I asked anyway “please I can’t explain, right now I’m unable to breath, may I please get 10 minutes.”

I’m not sure what was said but they agreed to give me “10 minutes” and walked away. 

2-3 minutes later the front desk woman (black lady) came back asking “what happened?”

To the best of my ability I asked for “more time?”  I tried to explain that as soon as she left the security came abd this wasn’t helping me calm down (I think them trading off asking me happened one more time [see cameras of courtyard]).

Finally tge woman front desk (Cox bldg.) said if you don’t say what happened the “security would put me out.”

I’m not well with police/security due to past experiences so I asked if I “could go upstairs get my stuff together in the TV room and go to the hospital” as I had been previously told by tge initial security prior to walking outside for fresh air that I coukd put my stuff back in the room.”  The female front desk lady (Black woman) said yes.

I went upstairs and begin putting my stuff together while I was putting my stuff together the light skinned security guard came and asked me again what happened (see previous email detailing what happened as it may be more in depth, because I’m tired).

I asked for “grace” he responded that he runs this program and it would need to go through him anyway.”  I basically said I couldn’t at this time thst I was getting ready to go to the hospital.

He responded “ok.”  And left.

I finished putting my stuff together took it to the room and sat down in the TV room to gather myself before going down stairs.  Immediately Tona got on the phone and set something about me being downstairs.  I walked to the courtyard and something said maje sure you got your wallet.  I couldn’t find my wallet so I went back upstairs.  I thought about getting in trouble fir looking for it in the room and all the purfume so I just sat in the TV room and begin to cry because I didnt want to go to the hospital without ID but I was gonna have to try to look quietly and just put on a mask.

Then the security came back with the police who asked me “what happened”

I tried to briefly explain it to them without getting re-escalated citing that “the security was part of the problem by putting me out for my disability and then forcing me to tell them what happened while I was still hurting and escalated, not allowing me to calm down” 

(I was on the phone trying to contact the non-emergency number on the security because of what they were doing when the security came with the police).

The officer turned to the security asked him if “he had asked me to leave.”

The security said something along the lines of I wouldn’t talk to him so “I had to leave for a night.”  The police then walked me to Cox building I went one way and they went another.

I walked to Texas Methodist hospital where I was admitted for my lung pain (environmental sensitivity trigger and panic attacks/anxiety) without my ID as the security would NOT allow me to get it from my room.  I stayed in there until around 4 or 5am and I walked to the bus stop caught the bus to the gym.  Sent an email to Latia asking if I could come back (she didnt respond)  after work I called UGM and asked the front desk if I could come back and they said they contacted Juaneta who said I could return I just needed to connect with my case manager the next day.

The next day I did not hear from my case manager so I went to her office ( I shouldve went to the front desk first but she allowed me to meet with her).

She then went over everything that I had been accused of: throwing a sugar packet at Tammy, turning down the air, and something else.

She then made me sign a plan because I was being accused of being disrespectful to staff and residents.  I signed it stating I didnt fo thise things.

When we were in the lobby Ms. Gwen was there and asked Latia if she had “called me and told me to come back” to which Latia said “yes,” even though she did not and I told Ms. Gwen that when I spoke with her outside thanking her fir allowing me to get on my feet where I promised I would not get escalated anymore which I have not.

I have not stolen anyone’s stuff.

I have not yelled or cussed at anyone.

I have followed UGM’s policies.

I am following the rules and this is a pattern that is happening to me. Please pray with me for God to help me because prayer works amen.

Resoectfully,”

****

Email Explaining Final Incident 5/12/26

Greetings,

So I was laying down sleeping when *&%”‘^% begin to slam things excessively.  I said nothing because this is what she does occasionally.

Then out of no where ^%$$^ begin to yell and call me “evil” and “spiteful” over and over again after she came out the shower completely naked.

I tried to ask her to “stop calling me out my name” repeatedly.

Her response was to say she is “grown and can do whatever she wants to do,” and she continued to yell and got even louder.

As she begin to really scream I got up and went to stand by the door with the door propped open for safety.  You can not see in the room with the door propped open with the little garbage can (we had been doing before ^^%$#& came, and this for air circulation when people spray purfumes etc and because its really moist in here, even causing the bed sheets etc. to be wet because of the moisture in the air).

Prior to this she had just came out the bathroom completely naked into the area by our beds saying she ” doesn’t get dressed in closed spaces”

She then closed the curtain and the door (we had previously agreed that we would have “one day with the curtain closed and one day with it open” to compramise).

So like I said I moved back towards the door after she had escalated her yelling and had it slightly open and thats when I heard staff and a resident talking something about “she’s having another episode” and “I’m gonna call security.”

I was not yelling nor was I escalated like %^^$$^ had been and is everytime I say anything (which is why I asked for mediation prior to this and the socialwork lady Gloria for help since Latia was on vacation prior to this point).

&^%$^ then advanced towards me half dressed while I was standing by the door talking to Ramiko (I apologize if I wrote her name wrong).

$%^$& had to tell her to move away from the door because “she could only talk to one person at a time.”

%^%$& proceeded to say that phrase (see above) everytime $%^$&% would interrupt me but she was saying it to me.

I then was told I had to “leave the room” and be “separated.”

I asked “why everytime a resident treats me this way am I the one thst gets in trouble.”

By this time 2 security officers, and the lieutinent (the black light skinned guy) and Tammy (in addition to the case manager %^$%&$) were outside the door. 

I asked “could I please get my purse” because she had been “taking stuff” to which %^%$^$ yelled through the door that her “stuff had been taken too.”

I was told “I could not go back in but that the security officer “could go in and get it.”

From the door the security officer motioned to me to come show him/her.”  I went partially in to the room and pointed to where my purse was.

Immediately Tammy begin to say “I was told not to go inside.”  I responded that “the security just asked me too.”

I was then told to come all the way out the room and diwn to #%$^* office and I did as I was told.  I was then asked my name about 3-4 times by %^$$& to which I answered as I was told.

I gave %^%$o a short account of what happened.  I could here the security guards discussing whether or not to remove me from the room since “this was a pattern with me.”

Ultimately, the lieutenant said he would leave it up to them.  ^^$^*% I assume went to get $%$#^$’s side of things and came back.  One security guard remained with me while $%%$^% and $^$#%&% were I assume in the room (I’ m not sure because I wasnt down there but I saw them both walk past me together talking about someone calling them/it “petty.”

I had a final conversation with Ramiko the case manager who said she was “waiting to talk to the director to see if I was a good fit for the program” because “this was a pattern with me.”

I restated what she said citing “so because other residents thought it was ok to break the rules by cussing, yelling, throwing things, and calling me out my name” ( in addition to intentionally triggering my disability) that meant that when someone else does it that I’m not a good fit for the program?”

%^%$#& responded saying she “didnt have all the details” but “it was a pattern and she needed to speak eith the director.” I was told I could go back to the room and when I was walking a way the security and &^%$$^ continued the conversation on whether or not I was a good fit and should be “allowed to stay in the room, or together,”.

Respectfully,”

****

My case manager response to my email above 5/13/26

“Ms. Bell,

Please be advised that this is now the third instance in which Security has had to be involved due to your refusal to follow staff directives. During the incident on 5/12/26, a

Case Manager requested to speak with you privately, and you refused. You have also been repeatedly informed that the room temperature must remain at 72 degrees in accordance with building guidelines, yet you have continued to refuse compliance with shared living expectations. You were placed on a behavior contract on 5/5/26 in an effort to address ongoing concerns. Despite this intervention, there have continued to be repeated conflicts involving both previous and current roommates. It does not appear that you are able to appropriately function within a shared living environment at this time. While your reported environmental breathing concerns have been acknowledged, UGM is not a healthcare facility, and individual accommodations cannot supersede the health, safety, and shared living needs of the overall community.

Additionally, during this incident, you were observed with the room door propped open, which is against program policy and safety protocol. Case management advised you that the door must remain closed, and you refused redirection, stating that it needed to remain open due to your environmental concerns. This behavior is unacceptable and creates a safety concern within the facility.

At this time, it appears that UGM is unable to adequately meet your current needs and that a higher level of care and support may be more appropriate. Please be advised that you are being formally discharged from the Crossroads Program. Your exit date is set for 5/14/2026 at 12:00 PM. Any additional behavioral concerns or policy violations prior to that time may result in an immediate exit from the program. Although it is unfortunate that we could not meet your needs within this setting, I have attached a list of local shelter resources for your convenience that may better support your current circumstances.

Please also be advised:

You will be ineligible to reapply for the Crossroads/Pathways Program for six (6) months.
You will be ineligible to utilize the overnight dorm program for thirty (30) days.

We wish you the best moving forward and hope you are able to find a placement that better meets your needs.”

****

My respinse 5/13/26

“I can’t believe I’m being punished for what was done to me.  I did exactly what I was asked to but apparently you were told otherwise.”

****

My emsil to UGM 5/13/26

“So your kicking me out for going to the door for safety reasons?

I followed directions so I’m unsure of what your talking about.  I followed tge case manager when she asked me to.  If you look at the cameras you would see that.

There was no intervention beyond you writing me up for things I did not do.  you put a woman in the room that thinks someone is watching her through the window,  she closed them only to say that I stole from her a day later.

Nevermind her cussing and telling at me for no reason just like Sarah.  I guess I dont matter to UGM but I matter to God.

Nevermind what she did to me and how staff lied about me not doing what they asked.

Also, the door being propped open wasnt a problem until I did it but when Nikki did it it *while in the room it was ok.

I was by the door for safety but I guess it doesn’t matter what I say.  This was a setup but God will get the glory anyways.  I pray for y’all.”

****

My email regarding picking up my belongings 5/14/26

“Greetings,

I tried to contact you this morning but no one answered the phone regarding picking up my luggage by noon today.

I had to stay out because bibke study went over curfew last night and I have been in classes with my case management for survivors of childhood sexual exploitation and human trafficking all day today, and this is the first time I’ve been able to reach you. 

I tried to call again and this time I was transferred to uou where I was able to leave a message.

I would really appreciate if you coukd call me for once and communicate with me about whether or not I”m able to pick my stuff up between 5-6 (I’m traveling by buscoming back from Dallas) today. 

I really need to get my work clothes because I work tomorrow at 8am and I’m trying to find somewhere to put my stuff and ensure that the other resident who has been stealing my stuff did not steal my work clothes as well.

Please respond ASAP thank you and God bless”

****

Final Email Response from UGM 5/14/26

“Ms. Bell,

Unfortunately, due to the nature of my position as a Case Manager, I am not always available to answer phone calls while actively meeting with and servicing other clients.

Additionally, you were notified yesterday that your belongings needed to be gathered by 12:00 PM today. I will not be extending that deadline until 6:00 PM. However, you may come retrieve your belongings by 4:00 PM today.

Failure to retrieve your belongings by that time may result in your items being discarded. Please make arrangements to come as soon as possible.”

****

Just re-reading these emails gives me a vistril feeling. I did everything I know to do to prevent that from happening.  Especially the last incident I even asked the social worker to see the lady that eventually went off on me.  They put someone in the room with me without even telling her the rules or anything.  And to think when I came to pick up my stuff they were all right there waiting.  The security guard stepped right up and at least 3-4 people all pointed at me like “that’ her” then I was proceeded to be wzlked in and walked out like I had done something wrong.  I wonder am I the only person they did that too?  I sure hope so because God have mercy on us all if I’m not.  I even learned that leadership had been talking about me to people that don’t even work there and although they said I couldn’t record I did and I have proof of me being called names and of the person saying that leadership was talking about me.  I don’t want to record people but noone believes me even when I do.  I can’t get legal representation from legal aid because “they have too many cases” so I guess everyone gets to walk all over me in this world but not in heaven.  God will have the final say and he is my help, he is my comfort.

Psalm 46:1-3 KJV
[1] God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. [2] Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; [3]  Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

Amen