Everything’s Bigger in Texas except services…

services for the poor that is…


Waking up to my stomach grumbling I immediately grabbed my phone to check the time. After tossing and turning all night due to external and internal environments I was upset to see I slept past the alarm at 5am and it was after 7.  With an awkward body movement, I swung my feet to the floor and immediately felt relief from my pressure points on the sides of my thighs.  “At least I had somewhere to stay for now,” I thought.  “Be thankful for the hard bed,” I said to myself as I rubbed my thighs.  Dialing the number to the EBT card I inputted my personal information.  Half-surprised when they said my balance was “0.” I thought well maybe that’s God’s way of having me really go into the welfare office here.  I had tried to sign up twice since I had been in Texas but the information they had on record, for me, did not match who I was so I needed to go in person, and stuff kept happening to me, so I never made it.  In addition, the whole welfare office brought on so much anxiety, not only did the workers often treat you less than, everything is just super hard for me to accomplish anything lately.  I had to go to the licensing department 3 times and I had all the required documents before the 4th time when I was allowed to renew my license.  I quickly looked up the closest welfare office to my location and the route to get there.  “7 blocks away, that’s not far at all,” I thought getting dressed, out the door, and on the bus before I knew it.  My phone’s GPS immediately stopped working so I asked the bus driver if he knew where the welfare office was (I guess they don’t call it that out here), looking at me puzzled he said, “you mean where you get the food stamps?” “Yea,” I replied.  He pointed right ahead and I requested the next stop and walked across the street to the old strip mall determined to make it to shelter before I started sweating from my eyebrows.  Standing outside the door a few people were waiting for the office to open. 

This is crazy I thought to myself, why is it so hard for me to take care of myself.  I’m doing everything I possibly can to try to find a job and nothing is coming through, I’m literally going to the temp agencies and the computer won’t let me apply; When I do reach someone they are like “we will let you know when a job matches your qualifications;” or I’m being told I will be hired only to be ignored when I call; or I’m waiting for a review process that is taking weeks.  Holding back the tears I entered the building with the rest of the clients hoping to update, apply, or change their information for government assistance.  It wasn’t long before one of the ladies was beckoning me to the window.  “Hi, I need to apply for medical and food stamps, and I applied online twice and both times it told me to come in and provide proof I was who I said I am.” I said.  “Do you have ID,” she replied.  “Yes,” let me grab it.  Handing her my new state issued driver’s license she entered my information in the system.  “I can’t find you,” she said looking at me.  “Well, I don’t know why, I applied twice most recently last month, and I received 2 letters saying I was registered to vote but nothing else, no request for additional information, no nothing.”  “Write down your social security number.” she said sliding me a sticky note.  Handing my social security number to her, she began to search for me in her database.  “Nope, I still don’t see you,” she said.  “Well, I don’t know why, let me try to see if they emailed me anything.  While I was searching through my emails she said, “oh I found you, your social security was in a different place.” Why would my stuff be in a different place I thought.  She said, “you applied for medical but your not old enough to get Medicare.”  “Well, what medical can I get?”  “How old are you?” “48,” I said. “None, through the State, you have to call an agency, and they will give you a co-pay or you can go to Parkland health they will put you on their medical, but Texas only provides Medicare, but you have to be old enough.”  “Well, am I able to speak to someone about that and some food stamps.  “Yes, someone will call you shortly there’s one person in front of you.” 

Sitting down in the first row, I had hoped it wouldn’t take too long because I had an appointment in 2 hours and needed to leave within an hour to get there in time. Boy, that was wishful thinking, even if it only was 3 people in the building. Right then a lady came out the front door next to where the reception was and called someone’s name.  Oh, ok, I thought this should go quickly then.  It was one hour later, and 20 more additional people in the office when a different lady called me back up to the front, asked me for my Id or driver’s license again, then proceeded to tell me she couldn’t find me in the system.  I explained to her that the lady sitting 3 people over from us had said the same thing so maybe she should ask her how she did it.  At that moment she magically found me in her system and said that someone would be calling me shortly.  30 more minutes went by before I heard a faint voice calling my name.  Turning my head and scanning the room, I positioned my eyes to the back of the room and didn’t see anyone waiting or acknowledging that a name was being called so I turned my head back towards the front when I heard my name being called again.  I looked towards the security guard at the back of the room who had a look of disgust on her face and asked her, “is someone calling my name?” holding the same look of disgust she nodded her head up and down.  I said “where because I don’t see anyone?” Reluctantly, she motioned to the beginning of a hallway (I couldn’t see it was a hallway I could only see that it was an entrance) adjacent to where she was sitting.  Grabbing my backpack, I walked towards the back of the room, turned right, which allowed me to see down the hallway and at the very end stood the worker who had been calling my name. 

Under my breath I was like “how was I supposed to know you were all the way back here?”  I didn’t press it further, and at least I had heard it through my earbuds that helped me deal with social anxiety situations like this one.  “Please go to room 111 and have a seat.”  Wow, I thought.  That many people was back here and it took 2 hours for 2 people to be called.  Sitting down in the small office space the worker stated she was working on my application online and that she had a few questions for me.  “The system shows you worked at McDonald’s and Texas Fish and Chicken?”  “Yes, I was working at both but I’m no longer working there due to circumstances beyond my control.”  “Do you have proof that you no longer work there?” she said stopping her tap, tap, tap on the keyboard.  “No, wait I have a text message from Texas Fish and Chicken when he fired me,” laughing it off I really wanted to cry because at this moment I knew I wasn’t getting assistance today.  The worker begins to type again this time with way more rigor, TAP, TAP, TAP, You need to download the app so you can upload documentation.”  “I don’t know if I can my phone is tripping.” “Well you can go to the library, and do it?” “No I don’t have time to do all that, let me try it first before I add an additional step. TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP.  Damn, I wanted to say could you not type so loud, I can’t concentrate, but I thought better to not agitate her.  “So am I not going to be able to get food stamps today at least?”  “I don’t know, that depends if you give us proof that you’re no longer working.”  Downloading the app, I began to try to upload screen shots of the text messages showing that the Manager and the Assistant from McDonald’s refused to respond to my texts about employment, along with the text I received being fired from Texas Fish and Chicken.  “I can’t upload it, this is too much, I’m hungry, can you just call them.  Giving the worker the number to both previous employees, she called both and neither one of them answered.  “I can’t leave a message because you get a different worker every time you come, so if they called me back there’s no way for me to forward it to the next worker.”  I continued to upload the last check deposited in my account along with anything that could support me in getting some service. TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP.  “Ok based off of everything we have so far we can give you SNAP for  the middle of July until now but we can’t give you SNAP for the current month because we don’t have proof your not working.” “Wait, I can’t get food stamps for last month because I received food stamps last month from a different state.” 

“Oh well we have to ping you for that, as well and you would need to show us you’re not receiving services from them in addition to proof your not currently working.” “If you’re able to see that I haven’t received a check from them, what difference does it make if I’m unable to get the proof?”  “If you disagree with anything you can speak to a supervisor and they will call you from the lobby,” she said as she got up and motioned for the door.  “Hold up, can you call the supervisor before I go back to the lobby?” Sitting back down she begin to type again TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP.  A few moments passed and the supervisor entered the door, as the door remained open the entire time she came in well prepared as she repeated everything the worker said almost verbatim.  “How about you try to go to theworknumber.com and get your work history or just go into the McDonald’s?” “I don’t want to go back into that McDonald’s that ain’t gonna give me proof, and how do I do that?” “You can go into the lobby and try, she needs to help the next person.” “But I still need help, I need food, please just let me try before you kick me out to the lobby, to wait.” “You can get your EBT card, although there won’t be funds on it, and once you are able to login you can ask to speak to a different worker.” As I pulled up the site, I quickly tried to create an account and was repeatedly stopped as it wouldn’t allow me to enter my social security number.  “It won’t let me create an account.” Showing the worker and the Supervisor, the supervisor responded, “well that’s not our system so we don’t know how you would access it, but you need to go to the lobby.”  I started to argue but there was this voice that was like just leave.  Taking the papers from her without a single word I grabbed my backpack and walked out the door into the sweltering Dallas heat.  Sweat and tears mixed I crossed the street thanking God because there was the bus.  The bus driver was really nice asking me how I was doing.  I couldn’t speak because I was holding in a flood of tears so I ignored him and took my seat on the bus.  As I rode I was able to pull up my employment on the site the Supervisor suggested only to find out they didn’t even have my employment past 2020, huh?  Switching gears, I logged on to the site for Oregon only to see that it said I still had services, huh?  I got on the phone and attempted to call but the first representative couldn’t hear me over the loud rumbling of the train, although I could hear her fine.  Calling back I was able to successfully connect with a representative who could hear me even with the background noise, who said I still had services.  How is that so, I called this morning and I didn’t have anything on my card.  “Could it be because I called to early?” “I don’t think it had anything to do with the time you called.” “Ok, thank you,” I said as I hung up the phone and called the number back to see if money was on the card, and wouldn’t you know it, it was there.  “Thank you God,” I said out loud, as I begin to cry I dialed Oregon EBT line back and canceled my services.  Looking at the paper from the DHS worker I noticed that they didn’t even have me down for my request for medical.  This whole situation is crazy but I’m not, I’m not gonna drink, or do anything crazy, I’m a go get some food and I’m a share it because that’s what God’s people do.

John 17:14-16 (KJV)

“I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shoudest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.”

Amen