How Breaking My Cycle Almost Broke Me: A tribute to NWSA (Pt. I)


You know the saying “be careful what you ask for,” well I definitely do because I thought that breaking my cycle would be like, hey I’m speaking out about what I have been through, about how I could’ve been better as a person, a child of God, a friend, and most importantly as a parent.  Well it wasn’t that simple.  Who would’ve known that I would cause more harm to those that I love the most, just by sharing my story.  Anyways, I didn’t want to do it alone.  I mean I was a founding member of survivors who were working on bringing light to other survivors at that time (Northwest Survivor Alliance-NWSA) through spotlighting them and their contributions to the work, through policy advocacy etc. But the other members were not melanated so they couldn’t speak directly to what I envisioned.

I mean we even got to the point where (NWSA) we were going to collaborate with allies  to create a training for other survivors so that they would be more equipped to speak and share their stories. (I believe we were granted some money but I never saw a penny) Well that was until I shared what happened to me with them while trying to present in Chicago (the short film Can Oppression Be Liberation, that was supposed to be about the generational impact of the commercial sex trade on Black girls, women, and their communities).

I mean they switched up on me and acted like I did something wrong as I was accosted in this white lady’s house.  Then they (the remaining NWSA founding members) sent me an email saying that I was kicked out of NWSA and that they wanted to give me somewhere around $1000 dollars.  I was like no thank you and they just continued being NWSA until they stopped and an Ally began doing the training that we were (the members of NWSA) supposed to receive money to do.

Before that though I was given an opportunity to speak about Human Trafficking with the Port of Seattle through Business Ending Slavery (BEST for short in Seattle Washington).  My parameters was not to be in the spotlight with any police (because that would endanger my life) and I was told that was fine.  Well the popo being in the picture was thrust on me last minute, I didn’t have the chance to back out, and while I did well in the first conference after having been put through that I totally messed up the final speaking agreement.  I couldn’t get my words out, it was horrible.  All I could think about was how my rights were violated by an Ally that was supposed to be there for me, but instead they used me and discarded me. 

I was even promised by the Social worker who worked with the Port of Seattle that I would have the chance to redeem myself next year but when I reached out she moved to a different position and had no control over that sphere of the business anymore.  So I guess in continuation of what they did the remaining members of NWSA followed suit.  It’s funny how they just be ignoring what they did to me.  Showing up in shared spaces and never acknowledging how they did me.  I forgive them though.